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Could life get any worse? O wait it has!   
12:01pm 20/03/2005
 
mood: just peachy
Yep, the rumors are true. I was in a car accident yesterday. Walked away from the totaled truck with some scratches, a sprained ankle and a sprained neck. My sister hit her head a couple of times and sprained her neck too. I was just thinking to myself how nice things were going, and here came the shitty part. Why can't I ever just be happy? I fucking swear everything shitty happens to me. So now I have no car, no job and no fucking freedom. I swear if I believed in God I would think that he hates me and is punishing me for some fucking reason. When things are going good, I just get shot down by life. I almost kind of wish I didn't walk away from that accident, so then I wouldn't have to deal with all the fucking shit that comes with it. I don't want to fucking deal with this shit anymore. I don't want to deal with my shitty family, my shitty life and my shitty luck. I went to Alex's yesterday after I got out of the hospital (in which I was there for about 5 fucking hours). Brit came to the hospital to wait with me and hang after. God I just want to crawl in to a cave and hide out for the rest of my life. FUCKING BITCHES. That is all.
 
     

(2 Bitches | Bitch Here)

 
HAPPY SAINT PATRICK'S DAY!   
01:08am 18/03/2005
  Wow, I haven't updated for a while. Ummm...nothing really new with me I guess. Been working, hanging out, taking care of my sister. Time has really flown by since I got home. Chris comes home in 2 1/2 months. I'm excited that he is, and then again I'm not. I've really been liking this whole not technically in a relationship thing. It's been pretty fun. Who knows. I guess we'll have to take it one step at a time. My parents are all fucking idiots and I can't wait to fucking move out. Might as well since I'm already paying rent to fucking live at my mom's house. Whatever though, karma bites.

My phone got disconnected because I'm getting a new one. I feel so god damn lost without it. But I felt loved though, cause I checked my voicemail today and I had 8 messages! Hopefully I will get my new phone soon, or else I might die.

I have way too many people to visit the next couple of months...since I'm better and I have money. But it'll be way fun to see everyone again. OOOOOOO SPRING BREAK! My parents are going to be out of town, hell yea. I swear my mom is so stupid. Why would you ever leave your 2 daughters alone on spring break? March 23-26...major partying baby. I haven't partied in a while, so that'll be fun.

SANTA CRUZ...March 18. Going to see Pepper in concert and getting fucked up in the process. Staying at a friends house who lives literally a block away from the Catalyst. She lives in an apartment complex that houses tons of hotties. I'm going to find me a hot surfer boy!

Umm I think that's about it. Didn't do much tonight for Saint Patrick's day, Lindsey and I were going to go to Souza's but she lost her driver's license. We're going to some other time. I might be going over to Alex's later, but it's kind of late now and I don't feel like driving all the way to Rohnert Park. Plus I have to be up at about 7 in the fucking morning to babysit. Damnit.
 
     

(Bitch Here)

 
Hehe...fun at 1 in the morning...   
12:47am 09/03/2005
 
What superhuman team you'd be a member of by seductionjunkie
username
favorite color scheme
favorite clothing style
your superpowers:a suit of high-tech armor
andthe ability to create zombies
andweather control
your codenameAction Woman
your greatest weaknessa big blue guy with antennae
your sidekickmishmashman
your own particular idiomworrying about innocents around you
your favorite quote"Good will never win while I exist! MWAHAHAHAHA!"
you would be a member ofThe Brotherhood of Naughty Mutants
Quiz created with MemeGen!
 
     

(2 Bitches | Bitch Here)

 
hehe   
10:44pm 01/03/2005
  (x) had sex
(x) been in love
(x) had sex in public
( ) been dumped
( ) dumped someone
(x) shoplifted
( ) been fired
(x) been in a fist fight
(x) had a threesome
(x) snuck out of my parent's house
(x) been tied up
( ) been caught masturbating
(x) broken an arm
(x) had a one night stand
( ) had sex with a member of the same sex
( ) been arrested
( ) stolen parents' car
(x) made out with a stranger
( ) stole something from a job
( ) celebrated new years in time square
( ) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend
( ) had a crush on a teacher
( ) celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans
(x) been to Europe
(x) skipped school
(x) skipped school soley to smoke pot
( ) slept with a co-worker
(x) cut myself on purpose
( ) had sex at the office
( ) been engaged
( ) been married
( ) gotten divorced
( ) had children
( ) seen someone die
( ) been to Africa
( ) slapped someone I loved
( ) Driven over 400 miles to attend a show/festival/fetish ball
(x) Flown somewhere to attend a show/festival/fetish ball
( ) Been to Canada
( ) Been to Mexico
(x) Been on a plane
(x) Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show (not enough times!)
( ) Thrown up in a bar
( ) Purposely set a part of myself on fire
(x) Told someone you hated them
(x) Told someone you loved them, romantically, and meant it
( ) Lived alone
( ) Been on a cruise ship
(x) Been on the subway
( ) Been on a train
( ) Been to Disney World
(x) Been to Disney Land
(x) Eaten Sushi
(x) Been snowboarding
(x) Had sex at a friend's house when they were throwing a party
(x) Given Oral Sex
(x) Met someone in person from the internet
(x) Watched two (or more) people have sex
( ) Eaten deer meat
(x) Been moshing at a concert
(x) Made someone bleed, on purpose
 
     

(2 Bitches | Bitch Here)

 
Ummm yea   
10:19pm 22/02/2005
  So I read this on "person L"'s livejournal and had to laugh, then I decided to correct and explain some of the crap said. My commentary is in between the stars**AND IN CAPS**


"so basically brittany and i aren't friends with 2 specific people.. (we'll call them person B and person C) anymore. drama. and guess who started it? that's right, the queens of drama (ie them).**REALLY? WE STARTED IT? I GUESS TYPING STUPID ASS COMMENTS ON YAHOO AWAY MESSAGES DOESN'T COUNT AS STARTING IT WHEN SHE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE SITUATION** okay so i basically started going into this long thing basically detailing what went on, but i'll spare you. all you need to know is that all of a sudden, person B went psycho. making shit up. not telling the whole truth. **HMMM...ISN'T IT INTERESTING THAT THE STUFF THAT PERSON L SAYS SHE MADE UP PERSON B TOLD HER ABOUT WHEN IT FIRST STARTED HAPPENING AND SHE TOLD PERSON B NOT TO TELL HER FUCKING FRIEND?** TPing brittany's ex's cars. **CORRECTION CAR, AND HE WASN'T HE ONLY ONE, SO DON'T FEEL SPECIAL** makeing up screen names to talk to us and to talk to her own sidekick posing as us. **FIRST OF ALL SHE MADE THEM UP FOR DIFFERENT REASONS AND SECONDLY WHERE THE HELL IS THIS BITCH GETTING HER INFORMATION?** hanging outside brittany's house. **AGAIN, MISINFORMATION** banging on brittany's door screaming. **HAHA OBVIOUSLY PERSON L DIDN'T GET THE WHOLE STORY FROM HER FRIEND, AND PERSON B ONLY KICKED HER DOOR ONCE** people over hearing fucked up shit said on the phone in public. **AGAIN WHERE THE HELL IS THIS INFORMATION COMING FROM?** having her dad call chris and say random bullcrap lies. **BULLCRAP LIES THAT CHRIS FUCKING ADMITTED TO, AND HER DAD CALLED HIM ON HIS OWN, PERSON B DIDN'T WANT HIM TO** disappearing with freshman at the beach for an hour. **HOW IS THAT EVEN RELEVENT OR ANY OF THEIR FUCKING BUSINESS?** doing drugs that i'll leave nameless. **AGAIN, ANY OF THEIR FUCKING BUSINESS?!?!?** +more. all random. all psycho. all person B. oh and her little accomplice, person C. yes they'll know it's them when they read this post, and they'll know it when they read all the immature bullshit that they pulled. really, going from a top university to TPing cars, how mature, right? **REALLY? BECAUSE THEY'RE SO FUCKING MATURE. AND SINCE WHEN IS A HARMLESS ACT LIKE TPING CARS SO FUCKING IMMATURE? IT WAS JUST A VALENTINE'S DAY PRANK, SINCE WE ARE BOTH SINGLE. AND BECAUSE ME LEAVING UCLA HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS CRAP. AND YET PERSON L HAS NO OTHER FUCKING INCIDENCES TO BACK UP HER ACCUSATIONS OF US BEING IMMATURE. GET A FUCKING JOB YOU LAZY ASS** the worst part of it all, is that nobody did anything to provoke their behavior, **WHAT PART OF OUR BEHAVIOR HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH PERSON L? NONE OF IT** and that they continued it AFTER recieving a long IM asking them to just leave us alone and get over it. **REALLY? SO WHEN DID WE EVEN BOTHER THESE BITCHES AND NOT GET OVER IT? WE WERE DOING PRETTY WELL UNTIL PERSON L HAD TO SAY SHIT** some people really surprise you.**YEA, SOME PEOPLE REALLY DO SURPRISE YOU**"


Umm yea, I could say more about these girls, but I'm not. You know why? Because I'm better then that. I'm not going to bad mouth them over the fucking internet or try to persuade people to hate them, because I'm not like them.
 
     

(Bitch Here)

 
Mmmmkay....   
03:39pm 22/02/2005
  Well since I've been back home it has been very, VERY interesting. I thought my life couldn't get any more complicated, but I guess I was wrong. I swear, when it's not one thing, it's another, right? Drama, drama and more drama. I hate it, but what are you gonna do about it. I've been babysitting for Jenny a lot lately, helping her out, and since I'm not allowed to see Britani anymore (because of retarded people and their drama) I've been hanging out with my sister and some old friends I haven't seen in a while. I just can't wait to get my own place, so I don't have to answer to anyone but myself. My sister's all excited too, to get out of this hell hole of a house. I just hope everything works out as planned. And hey, if anyone knows of someone who wants to room with us in a house in Sebastopol, tell them to get in touch with me! Because I desperately need another room mate if I even think that I can handle this. This is going to be interesting, as usual. Why is there always something going on in my life? I guess it just makes it less boring that way. But I think the stress is getting to me. Overall though, I'm happy right now, nothing is too overwhelming, I guess you could say that I'm content with my life right now, which I haven't been for a very long time. Go figure.  
     

(3 Bitches | Bitch Here)

 
another get to know me quick thingy...   
12:14am 18/02/2005
  I AM: Marissa, the super bitch

I WANT: tons of money

I HAVE: no job, no car and no life right now

I WISH: that I could help those I love in need

I HATE: stupid people

I FEAR: of not being loved

I SEARCH: for happiness

I WONDER: where I will be in 5 years

I REGRET: nothing and everthing

I LOVE: very few

I AM NOT: your average girl

I DANCE: whenever I can

I CRY: a lot lately

I WRITE: like someone is reading

I WIN: at everything

I LOSE: never

I CONFUSE: love with lust

I NEED: my friends

I SHOULD: be doing something else
----------------------
YES or NO

YOU KEEP A DIARY: nope

YOU LIKE TO COOK: I love to cook!

YOU HAVE A SECRET YOU HAVE NOT SHARED WITH ANYONE: many

YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE: not really
---------------------------------
THE WEIRDEST PERSON YOU KNOW: ummmm probably my lil sister

THE LOUDEST PERSON YOU KNOW: Me!

THE CUTEST PERSON YOU KNOW: some guy I met in Seattle (Alyse nows what I'm talking about....the one still in high school named Keegan?!?!?!?!)

THE PERSON THAT KNOWS THE MOST ABOUT YOU: No one person knows that much about me...

THE LAST IMAGE/THOUGHT YOU GO TO SLEEP WITH: Chris
----------------------------
DO YOU...?

HAVE A CRUSH: sure...don't I always?

WANT TO GET MARRIED: nope

GET MOTION SICKNESS: nope

THINK YOURE A HEALTH FREAK: when I have the money to be...

GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS:God no

LIKE THUNDERSTORMS: yea
-------------------------
CURRENT

HAIR COLOR: dark brown/red

EYE COLOR: brown

BIRTHTHPLACE: Honolulu, HI

-----------------------------
FAVORITE

NUMBER: 13

COLOR: black

DAY: Friday

MONTH: June

SONG: Here in My Room, Incubus

FOOD: I love gourmet food...

SEASON: summer

SPORT: none!

DRINK: ummmm vodka and orange juice, sex on the beach
------------------
PREFERENCES

CUDDLE OR MAKE OUT: make out

CHOCOLATE MILK, OR HOT CHOCOLATE: hot chocolate

DARK OR WHITE CHOCOLATE: white

VANILLA OR CHOCOLATE: vanilla

-----------------------------
IN THE LAST 24 HRS, HAVE YOU...

CRIED? yep

HELPED SOMEONE? sure

BOUGHT SOMETHING? yep

GOTTEN SICK? nope

GONE TO THE MOVIES? nope

GONE OUT FOR DINNER? yep

SAID I LOVE YOU? nope

WRITTEN A REAL LETTER: yep!

TALKED TO AN EX? yep

MISSED AN EX? nope

HAD A SERIOUS TALK? one that I didn't want to have...

MISSED SOMEONE? God yes

HUGGED SOMEONE? nope

FOUGHT WITH YOUR PARENTS? that happens everyday

FOUGHT WITH A FRIEND? nope

-----------------------------
Name 5 bands you listen to:
1. The Phenomenauts
2. Green Day
3. Incubus
4. Tsunami Bomb
5. Maroon 5

Name 7 things you hate:
1. not knowing whats going on
2. stupid girls who think the world revolves around them
3. my parents
4. stale chips
5. lots of people
6. guys who think they're the shit
7. my fucking cell phone

Would you ever:
1. Eat a bug? hehe...sure...

3. Hang glide? hell yea!

4. Kill someone? if it was me or them I would

5. Kiss someone of the same sex? sure why not

6. Have sex with someone of the same sex? no

7. Parachute from a plane? yep

8. Walk on hot coals? depends...maybe....

9. Go out with someone for their looks? I already have...

10. For their reputation? ummm...naw...

11. Be a vegetarian? already have

12. Wear plaid with stripes? see above....

13. IM a stranger? sure

14. Sing Karaoke? already have

15. Get drunk off your ass? haha...duh

16. Shoplift? nope

17. Run a red light? already have

18. Star in a porn video? never ....

19. Dye your hair blue? haha already have

20. Be on Survivor? no way

21. Wear makeup in public? yea

22. Not wear makeup in public? sure

23. Cheat on a test? nope

24. Make someone cry? of course!

25. Date someone more than 10 years older than you? probably...I'm half way there already...

27. Get Back with your Ex? maybe


Who you last:

1. Thought of: Britani

2. Missed: Chris

3. kissed: Chris

4. Liked: Chris

5. Slept with: just to break this whole Chris chain...technically Britani

6. Cried for: Chris

7. Wanted to be with: Chris...god damnit
 
     

(Bitch Here)

 
Hehe   
12:18am 06/02/2005
 

What kinda sex do you like?
Name
DOB
Favourite Color
Times you want to fuck a day.. 5
Fav. position any position as long as its rough
How you like it wet and messy
Where do you like doing it doesn't matter as long as i get sex
how good are you? you make them moan for more
This Quiz by sixmilesleft - Taken 23733 Times.
</a>
New - COOL Dating Tips and Romance Advice!

 
     

(Bitch Here)

 
Dude, I have way too much crap...   
08:52pm 27/01/2005
 
mood: tired, once again, as always
music: the television
Well, it's official. I have way too much crap. I got a letter from Chris yesterday, finally. He's coming back May 31, which is earlier than he expected. Hopefully by then I'll have my own place. So far everything is going ok, my friends down here are making me sad though, they're so much fun. We had a crazy dress up night last night, which was hilarious. My sisters are visiting next week, and I have the option of going back with them, but I'm not so sure about that. I don't know what I want to do yet, hopefully I will be able to decide soon. Still tired and sick, once I get home I think I'm going to hibernate in my house until my sisters get there. Sounds good. Alrighty, back to packing.
 
     

(1 Bitch | Bitch Here)

 
Mmmmkay.   
02:51pm 26/01/2005
 
mood: tired
Officially moving home on saturday afternoon. My dad is coming to pick me up with all my shit. Which is totally weird because I thought that he was going to disown me over this shit. Anywho, my sisters from Hawaii are coming to visit next thursday, and are staying for a week. So I have a little over two weeks to decide if I want to move to Hawaii with them or not. My dad even offered to pay for my plane ticket there. Crazy. I swear I'm in the twilight zone. I mean, I could totally move there later, but I guess it would be so much easier to move there now, while my dad is still offering to pay for my ticket and stuff. I'm not totally sure that I want to live in Hawaii or Nor Cal yet, so I guess I better do some soul searching in the next two weeks to find out what I really want.
 
     

(2 Bitches | Bitch Here)

 
bored...   
10:48pm 22/01/2005
  LAYER ONE: On The Outside

- Name: Marissa
- Nickname: don't really have one...Missa maybe, and Rissa if you're old school
- Birthplace: Kauai
- Current Location: Los Angeles
- Eye Color: brown
- Hair Color: reddish brown
- Height: 5'6"
- Righty or Lefty: righty
- Zodiac Sign: gemini


LAYER TWO: On The Inside

- Your heritage: hawaiian on my dad's, "white" on my mom's
- Who you look like: my aunt
- Your weakness: boys in bands
- Your fears: not fulfilling my dreams
- Your perfect pizza: chees, sun dried tomatoes, basil
- Goal you'd like to achieve: to find myself

LAYER THREE: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow

- Your most overused phrase on messenger: hahaha
- Your thoughts first waking up: fucking a its early
- Your best physical feature: my smile

LAYER FOUR: Your Pick

- Pepsi or Coke: neither
- McDonald's or Burger King: neither
- Single or group dates: single
- Adidas or Nike: neither
- Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla
- Cappuccino or coffee: capuccino

LAYER FIVE: Do You?

- Smoke: yes
- Sing: duh
- Have a crush: always
- Think you've been in love: i wish
- Want to get married: no
- Believe in yourself: not usually
- Get motion sickness: no
- Think you're attractive: sometimes
- Think you're a health freak: a little
- Get along with your parents: god no, haven't for a long time
- Like thunderstorms: yes
- Play an instrument: used to

LAYER SIX: In the past month...

- Drank alcohol:yes
- Smoked: yes
- Done a drug: yes
- Gone to the mall: yes
- Cried: yes
- Kissed someone you didnt want to: ...yes...
- Been on stage: no
- Gone skating: no
- Gone skinny dipping: no
- Dyed your hair: yes
- Stolen anything: yes

LAYER SEVEN: Ever..

- Played a game that required removal of clothing: yes
- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: yes
- Been caught "doing something": yes
- Been called a tease: yes
- Gotten beaten up: almost
- Shoplifted: once

LAYER EIGHT: Getting Older

- Age you hope to be married: never
- Numbers and Names of Children: none
- Describe your dream wedding: ummm...since i'm not having one....
- How do you want to die: slowly so i have time to tell the people i love everything i've always wanted to tell them but couldn't
- What do you want to be when you grow up: no clue
- What country would you most like to visit: france, again

LAYER NINE: In a partner

- Best eye color: any one would do
- Hair color: see above
- Short or long hair: long, but only if it suits them
- Height: tall enough so that i can kiss him standing on my tippy toes
- weight: doesn't matter
- Best articles of clothing: shoes

LAYER TEN: In The Numbers...

- Number of people I could trust with my life: 1
- Number of CDs that I own: uhhh...a little more than 200 i think
- Number of piercings: 11
- Number of tattoos: 1...soon to be 2
- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: 4
- Number of things in my past that I regret: 1
 
     

(Bitch Here)

 
   
02:28pm 14/01/2005
  If it's not one thing, it's another, right? Something always has to go wrong.  
     

(3 Bitches | Bitch Here)

 
so....incredibly....exhausted....   
02:21pm 14/01/2005
  The Last:

-person you hugged: Chris

-person you called: Christine

-person who called you: my Dad

-thing you touched: my phone

-book you read: The World According to Garp, John Irving

-magazine you bought: cosmo

-place you went to: class

-person who said "I love you" to you: Chris

-person who you chatted with: Rich (right now I'm chatting with Britani)

-perfume you sprayed: Victoria's Secret Something

-thing you ate: a cheese croissant

-drink you drank: vanilla latte

-flower you picked: rose

-movie you rented: the united states of leland

-letter u typed: uhhh...d?

-word you said: Hey

-person on your mind: my Dad

-place where u slept: my dorm

-animal you touched: pooters...my kitten

-time you cried: wednesday night, I know, its sad
 
     

(Bitch Here)

 
Hmmm...   
11:55pm 11/01/2005
 
mood: tired
music: DJ Danger Mouse
The last couple of days have been tiring. Friday night we had a Dawson's Creek marathon, then that got interrupted by PJ who dragged Jenn, Traci and I to the dance in De Neve, which was fun. Then we resumed the Dawson's Creek marathon. Saturday night Carole came to UCLA and we went clubbing. That was sooo fun...I love Club Bang, very alternative. Sunday I slept all day and did a little bit of studying. Monday I was on campus ALL DAY LONG. I had 3 classes, then had to fix some shit with housing and financial aid, then I had to go to training for my new job that I start on Thursday. Then I had a House Government meeting, then we went to Westwood to return my movies and get cookies from Diddy Reese. Today I had one class, then did nothing the rest of the day. Did some latin homework, went to Westwood to buy my MCD Bio reader, then did some stuff on the computer. I think I might get another job in Westwood to fill up my tuesdays, since I only work thursdays and fridays at the tutoring center. On fridays I have to open...which means I have to be there at 8:45 in the fucking morning. Dude, I am not a morning person. But, hey, I get paid. Been doing a lot of thinking lately, but I think that's a bad thing right now. I'm just rethinking everything right now, which is kind of turning out for the worst. Don't know, I just don't know anymore. Maybe I should get to bed. I've been really tired lately. Alyse and I were talking and it turns out we have the same symptoms. She says we're dying. I told her she's crazy. She said that she's going to name the disease after us, so that we'll be famous for discovering it. She cracks me up.
 
     

(Bitch Here)

 
WTF   
02:25pm 07/01/2005
  Dude, I came back to LA with pretty nice weather. Not hot, but not cold, you know? Then I wake up today and it's FUCKING POURING RAIN, totally like, cats and dogs style. Fucking retards. So I walked to clas today and I got fucking soaked, my pants are dripping with water. My MCD Bio class got cancelled though, so I don't have to walk through that shit again today. Hopefully it will be nice tomorrow night because we're going clubbing. That would be fun, in clubbing clothes while its pouring outside.  
     

(2 Bitches | Bitch Here)

 
A much needed update...   
12:50am 06/01/2005
 
mood: Not Ready For School to Start
music: No Doubt-Don't Speak
Well, it has been a very long time since my last update. I meant to update this break, but it was just way too busy. Where did I leave off? Finals were fucking insane, no sleep, lots of pizza and soda, a lot of time spent in the C3 lounge, and way too much information crammed into my brain in a short amount of time. I was just so relieved to get those done and over with and go home. But as I got on the plane to head off to Oakland International Airport, I almost didn't want to leave. It was the strangest feeling. I wanted so badly to go home and see everyone again, but then I didn't. I feel like I have changed so much since I started school and I didn't think that things at "home" would ever be the same. Boy was I right. I am having major relationship problems right now. Where to begin? My dad is being more distant than ever, while my mom is trying to be closer to me. I got into OAK around 10 and my dad did not want to pick me up, so I had to wait until 12 for the bus. I got "home" about 1:30 in the morning. The next couple of day I adjusted to being home again, unpacked, hung out with some old friends. My room is different, there is nothing really in there that is mine anymore. Saw Chris that weekend. I wanted to spend every day with him, and we basically did spend every day together. It was hard letting him go though, and I won't see him again for another 6 months. More about that later. Went to work that monday, and worked every day until christmas. Spent christmas eve with my mother, christmas day with my father. I got an ipod, shoes, a scarf from my mom and a digital camera from my dad. It was weird, once again, to have christmas with everyone. I don't know, I expected something else I think, but I don't really know what. That saturday Brit and I went to a christmast party at our friend Jake's house, which was fun, but I think it was a mistake on my part. I did some things I probably shouldn't have, which I had to tell Chris, which made him not talk to me for a couple of days. Crucial days were lost, considering we only had 2 weeks together. Worked again that whole week, and went out some nights. I think I learned a lot this break, about certain people and people in general. I hoped that this break I could just relax, but that did not happen at all. New Years wasn't as exciting as I thought it would be, which was disappointing. I did have fun though, and got to hang out with some people I didn't hang out with enough while I was back. Firday my dad tells me that he and Carole are moving to the city. In a one bedroom apartment. And basically he doesn't want me working for him because I'm "undependable", even though I put in over 40 hours the week before, just because I didn't want to work the day of and after New Years. And I need to find a job before I come home from UCLA if I want to live with him, in the city, where I won't have a car to drive anywhere. So basically this summer I won't have a place to live, a car or a job. This just made my upcoming year so much more fucking complicated. Now I have so many things to do, besides all of the school shit. I know I'm supposed to be "growing up", but I still think that my dad should help me out a little considering I'm going to school. Whatever. I guess I'm going to once again have to handle everything on my own. Had my mom's house to myself the next night, had a little "get together", which was interesting. On Sunday I took Chris to the airport. I picked him up at 6 and his plane went out at 10. That was the hardest 4 hours of my life. We hung out for a bit, then we headed off to the airport, where I went inside with him and we said our goodbyes. It was a total movie cliche in the airport....where we're standing by the security check point and we're both crying, he's promising that he'll write, and I can't even speak I'm crying so hard. Finally he has to go, once he gets through the checkpoint he turns around for one last look, blows me a kiss and mouths that he loves me. I'm still crying walking back to my car, and in the car, and the whole fucking ride back. I won't see him again for 6 months. 6 months. That is such a long time, I don't know if I'm going to be able to handle it. Brit says that I should just move on, that I shouldn't wait for him. But I want to wait for him, I don't know why. 6 months is just such a long time. I mean, if he wasn't gone for 6 months who knows where our relationship would have gone? I don't know what I should do. The rest of the week was spent working and being depressed. Wednesday I packed, and realized that I have way too much fucking stuff. I almost didn't have room for it all in my 2 suitcases and backpack. The bus ride I read, the plane ride I slept. I'm so used to the airport and buses that they're almost like my second home. I feel comfortable there. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I'm not ready to start school again, and I know every time I do I tell myself this time is going to be different, that I am going to kick ass at all my school work, but I'm hoping that this time is going to be different. I am going to make this time different. Is that it? I think so. That was one long ass update. Hopefully I will update more frequently so it won't be this long again!!
 
     

(2 Bitches | Bitch Here)

 
..going...a....little....crazy........   
06:14pm 15/12/2004
 
mood: brain's about to explode
Finals. Studying. Eating. Going to sleep at 5 in the morning. Crazy conversations in the C3 lounge. Itunes. Studying. Studying. Studying. 2 MORE FUCKING DAYS BITCHES, AND IT WILL ALL BE OVER! That is, until next quarter. Damnit.
 
     

(Bitch Here)

 
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN FINALS START TO KILL YOU AND YOU'RE UP AT 1 IN THE MORNING   
02:43pm 13/12/2004
  We're so retarded... )  
     

(Bitch Here)

 
Hehe...um...not studying...   
12:30am 12/12/2004
  Some funny quotes, things stolen from peeps profiles...

"Studying for finals. By "studying" I mean "drinking", and by "for finals" I mean "to lower my inhibitions"."

"Did you get anything done today?"
"I did some research on the internet."
"Checking your email does not qualify as research Marissa!"
"O. Then I didn't get anything done today."

I think finals might actually kill me. But I'm not really worried about them, which kind of scares me.

My mom and her husband are in So Cal this weekend. They're coming to pick me up tomorrow morning. That should make for an interesting day. We're gonna go to Redondo Beach, do some sight seeing and crap I guess. I don't know why she tries so hard now that I'm gone. I guess I'll just have to play along.

Latin final monday. Cluster final thursday. History final friday. Then I go home. Thank god.
 
     

(Bitch Here)

 
   
04:31pm 11/12/2004
  Crushes  
     

(2 Bitches | Bitch Here)

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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